


Conspiracy theories ( Kirby AU x reader )

by Lost_goner



Category: Hoshi no Kaabii | Kirby: Right Back at Ya!, Kirby (Video Games), Kirby - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe, Chaotic!reader, Comedy, Common sense is not a thing, Existential Crisis, Gen Z humour, Guns, High School, Light-Hearted, Memes, Other, a lot of swearing, cartoon logic, don't sue me nintendo, don't worry no one dies, everything is platonic, except jk it's not that happy, gender neutral reader, millennial humour, our son must be safe, protecc kirby, reader is gender netural, unfortunately
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-02-25
Updated: 2019-02-27
Packaged: 2019-11-05 07:32:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,633
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17914523
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lost_goner/pseuds/Lost_goner
Summary: For one You lived a mostly normal and peaceful life, you had your fair share of good memories which almost entirely revolves around video games, specifically the ones with the round pink blob everyone knows and love, Kirby. Still, you are normal, like any others, so you couldn't fathom why the hell your favorite video game character just got yeeted out of the sky when you went star gazing.===========================hey, It's my first fic so I still lack experiences, criticism is welcomed and appreciated.Also, more importantly, I have only played a few Kirby games, I watched a brief playthrough of the rest but often rely on websites for information, And most references would be from the anime (right back at ya!) which I had watched through recently. There will most likely be a lot of misinterpretation and misinformation in the fic, I just wanted to give a heads up. Correct me on those if you have the time. The world building and lore for this AU/Fic will slowly be revealed as the time goes by. I hope you enjoy this fic and doesn't cringe to death before you finish.this entire fic is a shitpost-





	1. Wishful thinking

" This is fine. " You said, deadpan. 

" It is not 'fine' " The woman before you exclaimed with anger in her voice.

 Ah, yes, High school, the time where every adult wishes to go back and live through once again, a time of growth and process. Surely It must be a time everyone enjoys... _not._

You are sure as hell do not wish to live through this again, ever. For the last twenty minutes or so you were stuck in English class with Mrs. Baker, Your least favorite teacher to put it kindly. It is already lunch time and all your classmates have left, leaving you to face the wrath of your mentor alone.

 " You are in high school! It is not acceptable to write in pencil! " she cried as if you have just disgraced her whole family before slamming your notebook back on your desk. You swore the desk trembles upon contact. " and talking back to your teacher is not acceptable either! " she continued and you couldn't bother changing your expression.

 " But my pen-" " You better shut it." your sentence was quickly cut off and you decided to just sit back and contemplate the meaning of existence.

 Mrs. Baker let out a sigh and with her threatening voice she spoke " I will let you go for now, but when you come back on Monday I better see everything rewritten in pen or You are going to detention on Saturday " ending with a soft gesture as if she has given you the mercy you didn't deserve. Normally you would argue but at the time you really just want to leave so you nodded.

 " You are dismissed " As soon as she finished you grab your bag and sprint with godlike (or well what you thought was godlike) speed out of the classroom.

 You never understand what she had against you or pencils. It's almost every class that she laid her eyes on you and decided something was wrong. Your pen just happens to run out of ink on the previous class so you switched to pencil to make do and when she saw your writing she nearly screamed out in rage. You are currently gathering witnesses and evidence so you may one day report her to the principal, that day just ain't soon. 

 You enter the cafeteria of the school, it is crowded like the usual, the smell of various food started to kick you in the nose, not to count the loud noises from hundreds of conversation that goes on at the same time. You scan the area to find a seat to sit down and eat the sandwich you have packed and that's when a familiar voice called out to you.

" Y/N ! over here! " the voice called from your left, so you turn toward the source and smile.

 Sitting at the table not too far away was a boy around your age whose definitely much taller, His hair was curly brown with hints of red, His skin tone was not too dark or too pale with light freckles complimenting his dark brown eyes. He wore a dark blue turtleneck with white stripes, Overall he looks goofy and friendly, just like how you remembered him.

" Dennis! " You called out his name cheerfully, he never fails to put you in a good mood. " How's it going, my man? " You add and walk over to sit with him, he quickly makes space for you.

 " Great! Engineering wasn't too bad " he answered you while going back to his lunch meals, which consist of microwave mac and cheese. " what class did you have?" he asked back 

 " Mrs. Baker's " You answered followed by a groan as you unpack your own lunch. "oof" Dennis let out softly accompanied by a frown and pat you in the back, " She kept you after class huh? " he added and you nod in response.

 You and Dennis were good friends since you moved here, moving into new schools can be a difficult thing but luckily through some dumb luck and your chaotic self you two met and immediately bonded two sentences into the conversation about video games. You would call him your platonic soulmate, your dudebro, your manz, whatever along those lines. He always gets your jokes and found them funny, and most importantly he puts up with you which you didn't expect. Most days you look forward to talking to him, others time you consider pushing him off a ledge.

 Though, It ain't just you two in the squad.

 Suddenly a girl around your height with short blonde hair came to sit across the two of you, she's not too bad looking from your view with her stylish blouse and skirt, her gorgeous blue eyes look at the two of you and her mouth curved into a smile.  " hey Y/N, hey Dennis, What are you two up to? " she asked

 " Nothing much, just talking shit bout Mrs. Baker " you answered and took a bite out of your sandwich, ham, and cheese, a classic. " she held me after class for writing in pencil and threaten to give me detention " you explained.

 " Does she has something against pencils?? also Hi Lisa! how's cheerleading? " Dennis charmed in and Lisa visibly frighten by the word mentioned " Horrible "

 You met Lisa through Dennis, both of them used to date but decided to stay friends after a while. She's very sweet, and even though it doesn't seem like it she plays just as many games as the both of you.

 " At least it's Friday, " You said trying to cheer her up " We can bounce, Y'all got plans for the weekend? " You asked 

 " Eh I was gonna stay in and play games, you know, the usual " Dennis said and lean back from his seat. Lisa shrugs " I have classes but I was thinking of playing something too, " she said. 

 " Guess we will just talk about it on discord later. " You finish your sandwich and stood up. Dennis raise a brow " you don't have classes after this?" he asked " Yup, I'm going home to take a nap " ending your sentence you threw your backpack over your shoulders.

 Lisa frowned and look at you with worries in her eyes " Are you alright, Y/N? you don't seem.. very well " she said and Dennis agreed " Yeah, not as energetic "

 You laughed it off as you head out. " It's nothing, I'm just tired that's all " 

 

 As you head home you think about what you said more, were you really _just_ tired?  
Tired would be an understatement. You felt as though sleep your days away would be the best cost of action you could take. 

 When You arrived at home it was quiet, Your dad worked overseas and you are an only child, Most times your mom will be around but like today she has more important things to attend to. You lock the door behind you and spotted a small note stuck to the fridge. ' Dinner is in the freezer ' it reads. You shrug and head upstairs to your room. 

 You tossed your backpack aside and leap into your bed. letting out a sigh you reach for the pink plushy next to the pillow, It's our beloved baby Kirby! just as a plushie! You hug it tight.

 Lately, You felt as though you don't want tomorrow to come. You are not ready for it. Maybe because of the work and responsibility of growing up scare you. Less and less every day that you felt the same joy in your heart like when you were young. You remember simply spending your days staring at the screen as the story in each game you played unfolds before you. It's so easy to do the right things and be a hero in games, so easy to have fun and worries about nothing, Compare to the reality you are just an ordinary person like all else, nothing special. It's too boring, Nothing happens, and definitely important things don't happen to you. Maybe you couldn't fathom a reason to wake up when you are so... insignificant and nothing exciting will happen anyway.

It's such a scary thought.

 You held up the Kirby plush and stare into its blue eyes, You liked Kirby games because they are simple and cute, yet interesting and fascinating. It started with such a small conflict and simple story, but somehow so so magical might just be the simplicity itself that made it that way. Also, because everything is so gosh darn cute.

 " you know, if you were real maybe things would be more interesting, " you said softly. before lowering your arms. 

 It would be much more interesting indeed, even if you had to watch it unfold as an outsider. yeah. 

 You closed your eyes and quickly drifted off to sleep

 

  ~~~~ _A voice called out to you in the darkness of your mind  
"  Is there something you desired, young one? " the voice echoed through the void, however, you weren't scared at all, you answered it without a hint of fear in your voice. " There is "_

_"  I will grant you one wish "  The voice spoke again and slowly a golden round shape emerging from the darkest before you. " choose very carefully "_

_Without missing a beat you open your mouth "  I wish for..._

 

You open your eyes as your consciousness return to you. Confused you look around to examine your surrounding. once again you found yourself in your room, on your comfy bed with the Kirby plush toy beside you. It is strangely dark so your eyes darted toward the clock which showed you it was already 2 am. You slept in more than you have planned, also you were covered in cold sweat, yikes. You sighed and decided to take a shower, you were wild awake and somewhat hungry anyway.

 After getting changed you walked downstairs you heat up the spaghetti your mom left for you in the microwave and wait, as you looked around out of boredom you noticed how clear the sky is tonight and how easy you can see the stars as you look out the window, you walked out through your backyard and took a deep breath. The stunning view of stars and cold wind blowing through you was pleasant, you felt at peace. 

 Suddenly you spot a shooting star, what a sight. the bright light dragged itself across the sky as you stared in awe. You were lucky you woke up to see it. A silly part of you told you to make a wish, so you did, there's no harm in doing so anyway. It was a silly wish. you wished for something interesting to happen. 

 though it might be your eyes playing tricks on you, the shooting star is still there even though it should've disappeared by now. You squint and focus your vision on the shooting star again. Maybe it's just you but it seems to be getting bigger

 

 

_ey that shooting star is looking kinda close now ain't it  
_


	2. Star struck

 The shooting star glows brightly as if threatening to burn everything in its path, still, it was mesmerizing and beautiful, but as you realized it's heading your way all you could think was to hide- not that it will do you any good against a meteor.

 You watched as the shining light pierced through the night sky and to your relief it isn't heading right towards you, but rather somewhere close by.  It seems to be heading for the park near your house, you ran out to follow where it goes and you saw it disappeared into the trees, that must've been when it made contact with the earth, you prepared for the loud noise it would make, but strangely it was quiet, only a sudden gust of wind blow pass you. 

 " what the shit-" you mumbled under your breath, did a meteor really just landed near your house??? what kinda bullshit, you must be dreaming.

 Either way, for some reason you wanted to see it up close, maybe to make sure it did happen and you are not losing it, or maybe because you wanted something unordinary to happen for once in your life and this might be it. Before you know it your body moves and you run to get your bicycle in the garage. You quickly hopped on and start to cycle your way toward the park to investigate the meteor.

 Your heart was pounding as you wonder what you may find, you feel the cold wind brushing against you in contrast to your body that's heating up in response to the adrenaline that rushes through your vein. How exciting! even if it's all too good to be true you couldn't back down, maybe finally something you wished for would happen, time to say goodbye to the old ordinary life!

 Upon arriving at the park you jumped off your bike and sprint through the quiet and haunting garden of the park, it was quite big and surrounded by so many trees, you look through them trying to find what may have been the meteor, or what left of it.

 You run toward the clearing of the park as your last hope, you couldn't find anything, not even traces that something happened. you knew deeply there are so much chances that all of it could've just been your imagination but yet you hoped that despite all odds it was real. 

 The Clearing was empty.

 Just as you thought, you sighed, of course, it would be. It's silly how you believed there would be something there, it's silly how you felt devastated that you found nothing. You laughed softly and turn back to leave the park. 

 Suddenly. To your surprise, you heard something moved.

 Your head snapped toward the direction of the sound, it came from the bushes. Curious, you approach it.

 There you saw something pink, it clearly stood out from the dark green leaves, you push the leaves out of your view and gasped as you realized what it was.

 or rather, _who_ it was

 In the bushes lies a round figure in pink with stubby round little arms, two red little feet, the face was simplistic and too easily recognizable by you, it reminds you of the very plush you hugged as you fell asleep. It was the one and only, _Kirby._

You questioned your sanity, are you hallucinating right now??? you are pretty sure you are not on drugs either. The face of Kirby was relaxed with his eyes closed, his body lifts up and down silently as he breathes, he must be asleep. More importantly, this couldn't be a plush toy like the one you had, this one is almost an exact replica of his appearance in the games, and **did you mention this thing breathes?. IT BREATHES.** You must be going nuts! 

 Maybe your brain was just so desperate for something it started hallucinating! You don't know what you should do. You don't even know if this is real.

 You decide to save the existential crisis later, now you will think about what to do. should you call the police?? what are you gonna tell them?? ' hi yes, officer I found Kirby, yes that Kirby from Nintendo lying in the park I think it's alive ' they won't believe you! and you don't want to think about what would happen to him afterward. If you leave him here people will find him and god you watched and played enough sci-fi genre to know it won't be a good idea.

 But what else can you do? 

  ** _take the boy home and drown in his cuteness_**

nononono you're are _NOT_ doing that! What will you say to your mom? and what about food and where he sleeps, yet you can't hide him forever!

  _ **t a k e  h i m  h o m e**_

You won't let the temptation win, It's not the best thing you could do! it might be the worst even! 

 You are not going to act on your impulse!!!!!

 

 You acted on your impulse.

You are now standing inside your room, holding the sleeping Kirby in your arms and all common sense is thrown away. well in your excuse, you aren't the type to make good life decisions, and you are not some cruel monster who would leave this puffball out in the cold.  You sighed and put Kirby on your bed next to his plushy, which is cute now that you see how smaller the plush is, it's like he has a baby brother!

 nononono Y/N, Focus! Now is not the time! Kirby is cute- yes but what are you going to do with him? you won't hand him to the police for sure- your mom definitely can't even see him, she would throw him out! can you tell your friends? maybe, you don't want them to think you're crazy. Luckily it's already weekends so you don't have to worry about school. still, you don't know what to do

 When he wakes up you will have more to worry about, he would be so confused! or would he? what version of Kirby is this anyway? his game version and anime version act differently and you can't really tell which one he is, maybe a mix of all versions? he looked like his recent appearance in the world of light but brighter in color and he's around your knee height. All you know is that most Kirbys like food, maybe you should prepare some, it might help him stay calm??? 

 You want to go back to sleep but what if kirby wakes up during that? it would be problematic, so you sit at the end of your bed and waited.

 Though your eyes grew more and more heavy as you do. So in the end no matter how hard you tried you fell asleep anyway, but unlike last time you didn't dream about anything.

 You will leave the worrying to your tomorrow self


	3. REMEMBER IT'S JUST A THEORY-

' FINGER IN HIS ASS KANYE WEST HE LIKES-'

 The sentence screeched into your ears, are you in hell? possibly- not that it's going to make a difference. The sound hurts your head and eventually you grew too annoyed and forced yourself to get up and chuck whatever the heck that is into the bin. Though your body felt so heavy, you groaned and reach for your phone and turn it off. Memories from last night slowly rolled in.

 oh yeah, you fell asleep- after cycling to the park in high speed toward a shooting star and brought Kirby home.

 what a night, you yawned and go back to sleep-

 no wait hold up

  _ **k i r b y**_

 You sprung back up from your bed and take a good look around your room, was it a dream???? You recalled setting Kirby next to you but he isn't there, however the blanket was shaped as if something was there. You panicked and get up from your bed, you are now fully awake from instinct kicking in and screaming like you just lost your leg or something. You noticed that your room's door is open, _oh no._ You sprinted out immediately and pray that he hasn't exited the house.

 You nearly jumped off the stairs in a hurry, luckily you weren't injured. But suddenly you heard some noises from the kitchen so you head there. It became clearer as you approach.

 and There you saw the pink blob holding few packages of cookies and chips in his stubby arms, his cheeks puffed out a little. He let out a small squeak in disappointment as he sees that he ran out of food, that's when he noticed you. the round blue eyes stares at you and blink, he then smiled.

 " Poyo! " he greets in his iconic cute voice, you nearly fucking died hearing it in person but the boy is okay!!! " oh thank god " you whispered to yourself and let out the breath you didn't know you were holding. Never in your life did you ever feel so much faith that there might be a god after all. 

 Kirby blinks and tilt his head (body-) upon seeing your reaction, rather confused. Oh yeah ah you definitely have something to do now that your mind glued itself back together. You took another deep breathe and spoke. " Hi Kirby " ah yes the only thing you came up with was to say hi, how nice of you.

 The pink ball replied to you innocently "hai!" he said, dragging his voice out, ah yeah that's one of a few words he can say- no wait can _this_ Kirby speak?  
 " Can you- ah speak? " you asked, you already know he must be able to comprehend speech to a level as he answered you. Kirby think for a moment before letting out a soft 'poyo'. You take that as a no, you sighed, guess you won't figure out how he ended up here very easily.

 Still you weren't sure how smart he is, either way you decide to introduce yourself, " I'm Y/N , It's nice to meet you Kirby, uh do you remember how you ended up here? " you tried to be gentle as you speak- you love this baby yes but we all know what he's capable off when he's threaten. Better not get on his bad side.  
 Kirby turn his body to look at you and shook his head, good news he's not a complete baby, bad news he's just as clueless as you are.  
 though you still need to collect information about him, as much as you want to keep him you are pretty sure it's best if he goes back to where he came from.

 " Alright Kirby, we will need to sent you back but I need a few questions answered is that fine by you? " You asked him, Kirby looks at you happily "Poyo!" he said enthusiastically, you cried internally because he's very cute and you really don't want to sent him back but dear god you know you can't protect him. 

=========

 " Are you from dreamland? "  
 " Poyo!"

 " Alright- ah- did something attacked before you woke up here?"  
 " Poyo! "

 You had somewhat started to understand the poyos, not really you just based it off how he said it, if he said it with energy beaming that's a yes, sad and dragged out you assumed no, and neutral seems to be when he's confused. You're pretty sure this is definitely not ideal but dear god what other ways do you have- 

 " Is- Is Dedede the bad guy? or like had anything to do with it? "  
 " poyo. "

 _oh thank god,_ you thought, you were worried for a second there you have to deal with the anime's shenanigans, you like it but it's better to know we got the king on our side. You most likely will never meet but this clear up a lot of things, which worries you because if it's not dedede pulling something harmless it's gotta be some kinda world ending scenario- You try not to think about that.

 " Had you been outside of dreamland- as in space and other dimensions before? "  
 " Poyo! " 

  _oh shit_ , it seems that this Kirby is closer to the game version- and that ain't good because it confirms your earlier thought, yup, the damn universe is in danger- or at least his universe- still bad but silently better.

 Suddenly your impulse kicks in again, bOY you got the real kirby right here answering your questions- you could definitely debunk theories on the internet right here and now, you're very tempted, very much tempted. Finally you open your mouth once again

 " Kirby are you literal god of destructio-

  _ **knock knock knock**_

 A set of knocks interrupt you before you could finish your question, damn it, you didn't get to ask whether or not meta knight is Mexican-

 Now, the reality of the situation kicks in as kirby muttered a confused poyo as your attention landed on the front door of your home, someone is here.

 It can't be your parents as they had the key, they would've come in, that's one thing out of the way. you walked toward the door, anxiety slowly building up in fear, one part of your mind were screaming it might just be the damn FBI coming after your ass for taking Kirby. You shake the thought out of your head before opening door only wide enough to see the outside.

 " H-Hey Y/N! " A familiar voice greeted, you recognize the face of the unwanted visitor immediately, Including another figure behind him which you know just as well.

 Dennis and Lisa.

 Maybe it would've been better if last night the meteor hit your house and ended you in the process.

 " HeYYYYYYYYYyyYYYY gUyS! " you greeted awkwardly putting your body between the door frame trying to prevent them from looking inside. " HoW's It GOinG, BoIS and GuRLS?? WhaT BrinGS YOu HerE? " you asked trying to act normal, which you know painfully well isn't working.

 " We were ah- worried about you, You haven't answered our calls " Lisa did her best ignoring what ever the hell you just sprout out of your mouth. She seems genuinely worried, It's unlike you to miss their calls especially during the weekends or Fridays in the discord, though it just happens you were occupied and almost yeeted your phone into the void.

 " Look, Y/N, we know you weren't feeling so well lately, is there anything you are struggling with? we're your friends you know-" Dennis added, You really appreciate the both of them, it's good to know people you love is worried and cared about you, but dear god do you want them _not_ to care right now.

 " I'M oKay, I ovErslepT thAts ALL " You said and squeeze out a laugh " NothiNG To WorRy AbouT" you continued and for a moment there the both of them almost believed you-

Haha sike- to think things would go smoothly iS A GoDDAMN MISTAKE

A loud clash and set of noises arise from behind you, followed by a cartoon squeaky noise, oh yeah you almost forgot one thing- kirby.

" What was that ?" Lisa asked, concerned,

 " whatwaswhat,ITSnoThIngYouimaginedIT" You started to panic and your words crumbled together.

 " I heard that too- Y/N are you hiding something? " Dennis joins in, you cursed internally and was about to once again laugh it off but he cuts you off

 " Y/N we respect your privacy but really, we don't- we don't want you to get hurt, whatever you are hiding we just want to make sure you're safe with it "   
 Dennis is a good friend, you admit that in everyway, you're lucky to have him, but god it's one of those time you wanna cease to exist.

 " SIWHOWH IM GOOD THANKS " You rushed and attempt to close the door just to end the conversation now that you don't know how else to wiggle out of it but dennis dashed forward and caught the door. " Y/N wait! " he called but it seems the world still wants to fuck you over.

 Your best friend happens to trip and dropped his body weight onto the door, in which you were behind- Pushing it open.

  _Never mind, there is no god_

Both of you crash into the floor of your house making a loud thud echoing the place, Lisa gasped and immediately rush over to help the both of you.

 Dennis immediately looked up apologetically " Oh my god Y/N I'm so sorry-" he spoke but suddenly paused mid sentence as he look at your direction, Lisa who was helping him followed his gaze and stopped in her tracks also.

 " what-" You muttered but then the realization hit you once again.

 You slowly turn around and there you saw something round and pink.

 

 " poyo ? " kirby spoke out as three pair of eyes watches him in shock 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> honestly my chapters are getting shorter and shorter- in my excuse- i ran out of memes


End file.
